can·cer [kan-ser]
noun
1. Pathology
a. a malignant and invasive growth or tumor, especially one originating in epithelium, tending to recur after excision and to metastasize to other sites.
b. any disease characterized by such growths.
2. any evil condition or thing that spreads destructively; blight.
No matter how it's defined, it sucks.
Last months report was wonderful... Gary's white blood count was steadily dropping, nearing the top of the normal range and we saw good numbers for the red blood cells and platelets. Even though his lymph nodes under his arms were swollen and he still saw cancer cells in his blood smear, it was a good month.
Today, we rounded the corner and hit a pothole. Although the reds and platelets are now in the normal ranges, the whites climbed from last months reading of 10,000 back up to 14,000. There was no sign of swelling under his arms, which was fabulous. Gary visibly showed shock on his face, expecting the numbers to fall, not rise. It reminded me of weeks when I dieted so diligently, only to see weight gain instead of loss. Ughhh!
The fight gets so hard sometimes. That's why many liken cancer to a journey, up-hill battle, or a roller coaster ride. You can never see what's around the corner or predict the terrain. It's kind of like driving in a dense fog with one foot of visibility. If the road looks good now, hang on because caution signs are probably up ahead. Or maybe not. Or maybe, it just sucks!
I asked Dr. Guthrie (right in front of Gary) if we should be disappointed by these numbers and he said "no, we expect this as we start to approach remission." In my minds eye, I immediately saw a green informational road sign that read, "Remission Ahead" and got excited. But all Gary could focus on was the white blood count number and he took his foot off the gas. Dr Guthrie explained that sometimes the blood tolerates the drug ineffectively and needs a jolt so he increased the chemo meds this month and is confident his blood will respond to the change.
Pray for Gary... he needs to stay focused on the destination, not the road. Yes, we have many more miles to travel, and battling cancer is like fighting sleep while driving, even after you've downed a 5-Hour Energy drink. After today's bump in the road, I got out the map again so I could remind Gary where we were headed, but ask that you say an extra prayer for my tired traveler. He's not a quitter, but he's weary in well doing.
Really, thanks for praying, all of you,
Chrissy
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