Question of the Week

MAKING MY LIST, CHECKING IT TWICE

Some of you may have seen the movie "Bucket List" starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It's about a man who keeps a list of all the things he wants to do before he kicks the bucket. After finding out his time on earth may be cut short, he decides it's time to get as much checked off the list as possible. Seeing the movie, coupled with having the "C" word knock on our family's door, I began to consider what my bucket list might have on it and decided to share with you three things I have yet to check off.

Out of all seven continents, I have only been on two. I've traveled more than I ever dreamed I would, seeing such countries as Canada, Dominican Republic, Jamaica, England, Denmark, Sweden, France, Luxembourg, Belgium, Switzerland, Germany, Italy, not to mention the Bahamas and 38 of the 50 US states, including Hawaii. But my desire is to have my feet touch all seven continents. I have five more to go.

For me, traveling fulfills one of my deepest heart desires, but running a close second is singing. I grew up in a very musical family and watching Mom sing every weekend in nightclubs made it look so easy. With that kind of an influence, it was as natural for me to pick up a microphone as it was to bake a cake... she taught me how to do both with ease. Today, we each use our talent to glorify His name but I still have a longing to sing those same standards she use to sing. One day, I would love to record some of those old tunes myself.

Recording is not as costly as traveling to five more continents but going to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City for three months might come close. I have always dreamed of enrolling in one of the three month internships at IHOP-KC. The program is designed to immerse you in a deeper walk of intimacy with Jesus as well as expand the prophetic giftings. Although I could take my two youngest teens with me, I haven't figured out how to be gone from my husband for that long a time. Besides the cost of the internship, housing, and food, saving for this would have to include numerous trips back and forth so we could all see each other. Maybe this one is too big a dream.

Have I sight my sights too high or fallen short when it comes to grabbing at the abundance He promises? Already, I've had the opportunity to travel, visiting places all over the world. More recently, I've accomplished some extreme personal challenges I thought I would never face. Yet each new adventure has been totally Spirit led and truly purpose driven. Some have accused me of going through a mid-life crisis while others think my new found hobbies are pretty cool. My check boxes continues to grow and I've finally decided nothing on the list is impossible unless He says no.

Please share three things you have on your bucket list...
I'd love to know!

Cyberpsalmist

PUT ME TO THE TEST

by Chrissy Larson

I have a love/hate relationship with tests. They certainly serve a purpose, in that the results generally prove something to somebody.

Last week, I had eight vials of my precious blood go to a lab. A technician somewhere examined it, looking for stuff (in other words, I'm not sure what.) Because I am frequently involved in research projects, I may never learn the results, unless they are not good. In my case, no news is good news.

That same week, I had to administer a test or final exam to 14 high school students. Personally, it was less painful than giving blood, but some of them probably would have taken the needle instead. It was my way of testing their knowledge to see if they walked away with what I was pounding home, week after week. Napoleon Dynamite surely would agree with me in saying this class taught them "skills."

Next week, my younger children will have the opportunity to participate in year-end testing. Some folks prepare ahead by having their kids study or brush up with test prep booklets. I, on the other hand, send them in cold turkey, assuming that if they didn't learn it by now, it's too late. (Not to say that preparing is a bad thing; on the contrary.)

My kids asked me why they had to take tests and I think my answer shocked them. I explained the results were not for me, but for them; that their scores would be compared to other children their age on a national scale. I also told them I was NOT concerned about the results; their score did not matter to me as much as it should matter to them.

At that moment, their disposition changed from fear to freedom. I was not the mean taskmaster (looking for a reason to ground them for the entire summer) they thought I was. It was a new feeling for me, as the weight of this responsibility shifted from mine to theirs. This is not to say that I am fully responsible for their education . . . it's just that I want them to own it for themselves.

Jesus wants us to understand this concept too. James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."(The Message)

There is liberty in facing the truth. When we avoid it, the chains of bondage grip us all the more. I suppose this is why James called testing a gift; he understood Jesus when He said, " And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32)

As I begin to fully understand God's motives, I am less likely to cower upon hearing Him call me to His exam room. I've come to learn the benefits and willingly utter, "Go ahead . . . put me to the test."

What do YOU think?

HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT . . .

Spring is such an amazing time of year. I am drawn to the sunshine that is ever-pouring from God's heaven. The weather has been surprisingly dry, allowing the atmosphere to be crisp and clear. This is such a fresh change from our normal haze of humidity. The sky seems bluer and the grass greener.



Too bad this season is so short. Before you know it, we'll be shutting doors and windows and turning on the air-conditioning for months to come. My husband thought I was crazy today when I chose to take a longer route in order to avoid the expressway. My reason for using back roads which would take twice as long? I wanted to roll down the windows and let the wind blow through my hair.


Today, I didn't want to be in a hurry. I'll be that tomorrow. I wanted to enjoy the day and the memories that Springtime always brings. When I was young, I used to ride my bike to an open field and spend hours looking through four leaf clovers, hoping for a trefoil. I can still remember how the March winds danced over the long, silky grass, doing a wave just for me. Clovers were sweet and dandelions in abundance; buttercups under my chin revealed I was a butter lover.

But most of all, I loved to pick wild daisies, plucking petals until the rhyme turned out right. Who wants to hear, "He loves me not!" My young heart hoped there would be someone who would love me one day.

I was right. I found Him in 1977. His love never relented and He romances me to this day. I always wanted someone who would adore me and care for me the way He does. His love goes down deep as sometimes that's where I hide; but He also celebrates with me in my high places. I've never known a love like this.

Daisy or not, one thing is for sure . . .
HE LOVES ME!

The Outlets

by Chrissy Larson

When you hear the word "outlet," what do you think of?

For those longing to shop and not be stuck in an enclosed building, the outlets are a great alternative to the indoor mall. If you happen to have extra money, where else would you rather be on a fine Spring day such as the those we have been experiencing lately, but strolling down a sidewalk, gazing in store windows. Every time the door swings open, the smell of retail wafts past your nose and out steps a contented addict with their "fix" in hand. Plastic-type bags never truly fill the void. But when you are handed your newly purchased merchandise in a paper-handled bag, you know you are in the zone. If you score a garment bag, life is very good!

If your addiction is fishing or boating, the word outlet might remind you of the place where you take your boat on any given day. An excuse to go can be conjured up in an instant. Living in what's known as "River City," there is one water inlet/outlet after another. I see folks on the river everyday reeling their addiction, who need no reason for getting out a pole and some bait.

However, most of us envision an electrical plug; the outlet being a place where we can plug something in and get something back. Electricity is one of best commodities ever invented by man! That plastic plate on my wall represents convenience and in just a matter of a seconds, my life becomes easier after I "plug it in."

But an outlet can also be a place or opening through which something is let out. For me, writing is that place. I never would have thought for a million years, that I had anything worth writing, much less any interest to others. This kind of mindset will keep us from doing just about anything. One day I woke up and said to myself, "I don't care if anyone ever reads what I have say, I just need the outlet." This begins my blogging journey.

The first time I heard the word "blog," I wondered if it was a new global warming term. Maybe Al Gore made it up and since I never follow him, I could have missed it. But the Internet (which he supposedly created) was full of them. At first, I was overwhelmed by information but after a little investigating, I found help. I decided if I was really going to do this (even if just for myself,) I wanted to do it right.

Last summer, I took several online classes, one of which was a Blog Writing Course (very reasonably priced) that literally walked me through the process, step by step. By the time I finished, I not only had the knowledge to set up my own blog site, I had a new confidence to express myself on the world wide web. I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who is or has entertained the idea.

Blogging is one of my outlets . . . an opening through which I can let it all out. This freedom of speech allows me to bellyache and moan from the depths of my soul. But better than that, I have the liberty to scream from the top of my lungs that Jesus is King and His return is imminent.

What is your outlet and why does it work?

TIME TRAVELER FOR A DAY

by Demetri Maroosis

The world has had amazing history ever since the time of Creation. There have been many famous Bible stories, battles, and ancient cities. There has also been the Pentecost, The Battle of Hastings, and World War II. It is amazing to see the history that God has orchestrated. You can see God's hand throughout all of history. You can see how God planned that Jesus would be born, die, resurrect, and come again.

If I could go to anytime in history it would have to be the Tower of Babel. I have always wondered what the Tower of Babel really looks like. No one has ever known for sure.

My question is simple, if you could go back to any time or place in history; where would you go?

Look up the meanings of your first and middle names in either a book of names or on the Internet. Are you surprised?Let me know what you find and then explain the significance.

Seal of Authenticity

Have you ever seen ads on TV for products which, because of their collectible nature or claim of origin, provide a seal of authenticity?

Who comes up this? Is there an office where authentic men and women gather authentic information to verify authentic items so we can then call them authentic? I always wondered.

So I went to Wikipedia, an authentic source of information (not really, because it is an encyclopedia that anyone can edit) to see what it said.

I found out here are two types of methods for proving authenticity. The first is comparing the attributes of one object to what is known about others of that origin. For example, for a painting, an art expert might look for similarities in the style, then check the location and form of the artist's signature, or compare the object to an old photograph.

The second type relies on some sort of documentation or other physical evidence such as an accompanying certificate. In the case of currency, we look for specific physical features and the fact that it should feel different than any other paper. Consumer goods are usually protected by a trademark or some other recognizable feature.

This explanation helped but we all know these methods can be tampered with. In my experience with prison ministry, I've shook hands those who have tried.

Just the other day, a friend of mine came by with purses she was helping a friend sell. Her display had everything from Channel to Prada, including Dolce and Gabbana. The handbags were absolutely beautiful, having the look and feel of being the "real thing."

Coca Cola used authenticity as their motto for quite some time. They wanted everyone to know that Coke products were real and the others were just a copy. I have found that sometimes people want a copy; for whatever reason, they may even like it better.

Jesus said in Matthew 13:30 that the enemy plants the copy amongst the real and that it will all be sorted out later. I have always had a hard time with this because I think there is a part of me that wants to expose what's fake right now. Too many people are being deceived and I hate that! Jesus explained the problem with trying to straighten things out now is that the authentic might get rooted up in the process and He didn't want that to happen. He went on to say that later, this would be the reaper's job.

This makes me consider my own authenticity. Can you tell that I belong to Him? Is there enough proof about me and the way I live my life so that others, especially the reapers, can see that I am for real? Because I can't stand pious posers and that includes myself!!!

If you had to make a list of counterfeits which helped to identify the fraudulent from the authentic, what three things would be on it?

ANGELS AMONGST US

With the economy in crisis, stress levels at an all-time high, and depression knocking on 2009's door, some can truly relate to George Bailey in Frank Capra's classic, "It's A Wonderful Life." Watching this mans life through the camera lens of an angel named Clarence gives us just the "rear-view reflection" needed for the days to come.

The movie has many high points as the laugh meter rises to the top time after time, but I must say that one of my favorite parts is the very beginning when we hear numerous prayers being offered by those who believe He truly hears us. The camera slowly zooms out as requests are being made known and everyone seems to be clamoring at once. The script allows for a small cast of voices crying out to Him with various supplications. Yet God, in all His glorious splendor, chooses to listen and is moved by those who tug on His merciful heart.

As far back as my memories serve me, I remember my mom being a "tugger." Even if it was after I had fallen asleep, I still recollect her tip-toeing into my room to say a soft-spoken prayer over me. Each time she prayed, she tugged at His heart, asking for my safe passage through this life, as well as His blessing. Those words cover me to this day; their goal was and still is to accomplish all that was intended in the words which came off her lips.

I do the same for my children now, whether they are near or far. Already, I pray for their yet-to-be spouses, as well as the grandchildren I will soon hold. As a mother, tugging is my business, but as a believer, tugging is essential to my existence. Once you start tugging in sincerity, you become addicted sensing His pleasure in the asking. Strangely, because of this act, His heart is moved.

More than ever before, I feel an urgency to tug. As much as Hollywood attempted to portray this, we need to be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit when we pray. Just as many lifted the name of George Bailey to the heavens, God is calling His people to pray. If we could zoom the camera out the way Frank Capra did, we too would begin to hear the consistency in God's agenda.

This generation is very unique. Truly, these are exciting times to be alive in and 2009 will soon be overflowing with so-called change. Can prayer make a difference? Let me narrow this down even further . . . are there angels assigned to personally assist you? According to George Bailey, there are. Read Psalms 91:11-12 and let me know what YOU think.

SWEET DREAMS by Nathan James

I'd like to think of myself as one who has many vivid and colorful dreams, not to mention, very random and nonsensical ones as well. What our minds tend to muster up in the late hours of the night can be some of the most ridiculous and crazy scenarios imaginable.

Of course, people have different mindsets, ideas, points of view, and other related mental articles, which give each person different types of dreams; whether it be the people involved in the dream, the setting, atmosphere or appearance. I’ve found some of mine to be very colorful and lustrous (even though I hear that we dream in black and white, I will continuously argue that this statement is fiction.)

Dreaming doesn’t usually occur in the deeper stages of sleep, but rather in the first few stages. We do our dreaming generally in the state of lighter sleeping. Also, if you didn’t already know, it only takes about 10% of your brain to create a dream for nighty-night time.

But aside from all of those monotonous facts, I’d like to hear some of your sweet dreams. Whether they are embarrassing, silly, nightmarish, realistic, or story-like, please share them. I might share a few of mine too, in response to yours. So, what kind of dreams do YOU have?

(The story you are about to read is 100 % fictional)

Just the other day, I needed to sign some important documents. Because of the nature of my business, signing them in person was a requirement. The office happened to be on the 18th floor of the Modis Building in the downtown area.

I noticed a commotion as I approached the elevators but somehow in all the confusion in the lobby, I wound up in the same elevator as presidential candidate Senator John McCain. There I was, face to face with him. Before I knew it, the doors were closing and secret service came pouncing towards us like a bunch of cats chasing catnip.

I must have been a sight, gawking at him with my jaw touching my chest. He broke the ice by shaking my hand and politely introducing himself. I gasped, knowing exactly who he was. When I told him my name, he smiled and said it was a pleasure to share the ride with me. He further expressed how the security slip-up might serve as a much needed break from the maddening crowds he was so accustomed to.

I nervously stared at the numeric display ascending from one floor to the next, when all of the sudden, the elevator gently came to a stop. We both looked at each other in surprise. I hesitatingly remarked, "Maybe your break will be a bit longer than you expected."

After security assured him via his ever-ringing cell phone we would be fine and the elevator would be repaired momentarily, he asked if sitting on the floor would make me feel uncomfortable. I responded by joining him. I debated in my mind for what seemed like forever, whether or not I should bring up the many issues I was concerned about. As soon I said, "Would you mind if I . . .” he interrupted and replied, "No, go ahead."

The rest is a blur. We must have sat there for a good thirty minutes when the elevator jerked and began its rise back to the top. As my floor approached, I quickly expressed my appreciation for the one-on-one moments we shared. Waving goodbye, I stepped out on to the 18th floor. The doors closed behind giving the Senator two and a half more minutes of solitude as he rode to the building's private top floor.

What did we talk about? That is for me to forever hide in my heart. But I learned so much about him in those few minutes.

Here's my opinion: John McCain is truly a hero. On the subject of negative campaigning, he could sling plenty of mud at his opponent but chooses not to at this time. Maybe what he faced as a POW explains his reaction to keep quiet in the face of persecution and ridicule. I know God honors this no matter who wins this race.

I feel deep concern for where this country is headed in light of the "change" that is promised by the other camp. Socialism is not only knocking at our front doors, it believes it can come in and put its feet on our furniture. Adopting this type of thinking, just because we as a nation are tired of taking care of ourselves, is not worth the consequences.

Voting correctly is one of the most powerful rights we physical possess, but praying fervently moves the heart of the Father. We need to ask God for mercy as a nation and cry out to Him to save us in our time of need. Praying is not the "least we can do," it is definitely the MOST we can do!

IMAGINE YOU GOT STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR WITH ONE OF THE TWO PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES. WHO WAS IT AND WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?

IMAGINE WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE IF TEENS RULED THE WORLD!

Brainstorm a list of instructions and give at least three rules teens would make for adults.

I've grown up a little bit but realize I still have a long way to go. Until I arrive, I have some advice to pass along to all the adults reading this.

#1. Proverbs warns parents not to provoke their kids to anger. Man, that is such good advice because parents come unglued, especially when they are stressed out. You can almost watch their blood boil and then
bang . . . they implode! My rule? Parents are required to say they are sorry too. I feel so much more respect for them when they ask me to forgive them.

#2. Teens should practice making plenty of adult decisions before leaving home. That way when we fail or screw something up, our parents can bail us out. It's more convenient messing up under our parents authority than out on our own.

#3. Teens should have maid service, especially for their rooms. All laundry should be done by this domestic helper, as well as keep personal items organized. Also, bedrooms should have a continually stocked mini-fridge, full of favorites.

As far as instructions, the best ones are found in the Bible concerning raising teens. I don't think parents give them enough credit.

Cyber Psalmist

What ONE Embarrassing Little Truth Can You Tell About Yourself?

"But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part,

which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:22

It's almost hard to recall but there once was a time in my life when I was able to watch bits and pieces of morning television shows . At 9:00 Am, I had coffee with Regis and Kathy Lee. They jested and jeered about their lives and let me guess, along with the rest of America, the answer to the daily trivia question. Then at 10:00 Am, Martha Stewart showed me how to grow my own herbs, bake my own bread and weave a basket to serve it in. Everything was easy and perfect in her TV world and I too, dreamed of Living just like Martha. It appeared to come so natural for her, except for one thing. . . an entire staff of employees did the work behind the scenes. The image she portrayed was just a facade.

It reminds me of those old western towns seen on a film set. Many of the buildings are only facades, which are far cheaper than actual buildings. If we could go behind the scenes, we would be surprised by the fact that they are merely held up with supports. Such is the case in Martha's world.

Jesus used the story of Mary and Martha to prove a similar point. Martha appeared to have it together on the outside, but in her heart, she missed the mark. Martha felt like her purpose was to busy herself with household duties. One of her biggest downfalls was expecting everyone else to be as passionate about housework as she was. She began to despise Mary for her lack of concern but not even Jesus felt Martha's tasks were as important as Mary's.

I am truly a Mary stuck in Martha's world. I would much rather worship than wash the dishes; I prefer to fast than to feast; I'd rather press in and hear from the Lord than press shirts and have starched creases. The worship webstream runs more in my house than the carpet steam cleaner. The biggest reason I get on my knees is NOT to wax my floors. Existing in this realm requires I loose some of my Martha dignity.

You see, I love to do those things and I was trained by the best (my mother) to do them well. But I can't quite get myself to prioritize any differently. I get up early, yet stay up late. My accomplishments? They add up to a few new songs written for an audience of One; words of encouragement penned for one that needed His touch; or precious time spent with my kids who will one day be gone from my immediate reach.

What is my embarrasing truth? My house is pretty much a wreck. But one thing is needed, and hopefully I have chosen the good part.

Cyber Psalmist

Question of the Week

If you were given a million dollars,
what would you do with it?
- Kyle O.

Funny you should ask, Kyle, because I mentioned this to the Lord just the other day.

Recently, I went to an out-of-town wedding and was able to renew friendships with nieces and nephews that I had not seen in a few years. One of my nephews is struggling with circumstances in his life that categorize his present condition as "dysfunctional."

As I considered my position as his Aunt, I knew my family, along with the Lord's help, was capable of making a difference in his life. Next summer, we plan on arranging for him to spend a bit of his summer with us.

Then it hit me... wouldn't it be cool if I could personally take my nephew, along with my son (who is close in age) on a missions trip? As quick as the idea came up, I let it go, due to my constant lack of funding. With numerous missions trips behind me, I knew the routine... fundraisers, passport applications, medical exams, not to mention the physical and spiritual preparation. All of this was worth the effort, yielding a greater spiritual return than I could ever fathom. But my biggest hurtle would no doubt be finances.

So, the last thing I whispered in God's ear only a few days ago regarding this far-fetched idea was, "If someone gave me a million dollars, I know just what I would do with it."

I'll leave it right there and remind you as well as myself, "with God, all things are possible," even a million dollars. (Matt. 19:26)

Cyber Psalmist

If you could wake up one morning as someone else, who would it be and what would you do?

Bethany Dillon - Waking Up - 2007

Waking up one morning, only to find I was someone else would be scary, especially if I couldn't pick who I was going to change places with (assuming that was the scenario.) But since I get to pick, here goes:

I think I'd like to be Misty Edwards for one day, just to see what it was like to walk and sing under such an incredible anointing. I feel certain she spends tons of time in prayer, as well as time composing new material and just singing before the Lord; something I don't have much time alloted for these days. A band practice with the musicians she plays with would be very cool and I think I would talk her engineers into letting me have studio time. Then I'd hook up with some of her friends at the coffee shop and ask those "heavy" questions I have been contemplating; people like Allen Hood, Mike Bickle, and Corey Russell. I wouldn't wonder if they wanted to hang out with me... after all, I'm Misty.

I probably would not eat very much because Misty fasts all the time. I would look forward to a two-hour set of worship with my team in the Prayer Room and you... would be able to watch me on the web-stream. But I wouldn't care about that... because I'm Misty.

I would not be satisfied with just 24 hours. I would be anxious for another day to spend at the feet of Jesus. Sleep would be light and the dawn would remind me of what this is all leading to...

because I was Misty.

Cyber Psalmist

Question of the Week

If you could design a billboard,

what would it say?

You are a voice to a generation.

Billboards are an amazing advertising tool. Because we have a business of our own, I have checked into billboard advertising as well as considered various locations around the city that would be beneficial to us. Location is everything. It must be catchy or else colorful enough to capture the readers attention. We read them at stop lights or glance at them as we fly down the expressway. Some are humorous and others annoy us. I've even seen a billboard with a proposal on it. I'm not sure I find that romantic. Everywhere you go (unless there are restrictions) you see billboards.

Have you ever thought of your life as a billboard? At least for the moment. How I act and who I am speaks volumes about me. My "being" is just as important as my "doing."

I am a voice to a generation and I do have something to say. I've learned from those before me and want to make a difference for those behind. My heart cries out to expose what's real because real reality has somehow fallen through the cracks.

So, what could I possibly say to a generation viewing my billboard?

Jesus wants to know
if you'll play
"Hide & Seek?"

Guess what-- you're it!

Seek the LORD
while He may be found,
Call upon Him
while He is near.
Isaiah 55:6

Cyber Psalmist

Do the Math

A few nights ago, my husband woke up around 3:00 Am for no apparent reason. He lay there awhile wondering what he should do next. I've been there myself and it feels as though someone's decided to set off an imaginary alarm clock in my head. I toss a bit, then turn, trying not to disturb anyone. After facing my sleepless denial, I am likely to get up and clean or even work on a project.

I asked my husband what he did during his awake time. He said his mind started going down a list all the near-misses in his life; the really stupid decisions he made as well as risks he had taken, imagining what should have happened. When we're young, consequences don't seem as up-close and personal as they are when maturity knocks on our door. He could not understand his survival rate in comparison to the situations that nearly took his life, nor the reason for the grace that came his way. After reviewing his extensive list, he said he fell peacefully asleep.

I've heard drinking warm milk or cocoa helps insomnia, but then so does a dose of NyQuil PM. One of my favorite movies, "White Christmas," has a scene in which Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney discover they both have trouble sleeping. Bing suggests a glass of buttermilk along with a liverwurst sandwich. That sounds to me like trouble, not a treatment. Then they segue into what I consider to be one of the most beautiful songs in the movie. The lyrics go like this:

Count You Blessings
Irving Berlin
(from the 1954 movie "White Christmas")

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

If you think of all the times you were spared, about every close call, and each near-miss, you'll agree, you shouldn't be reading this blog. But God has decided your divine purpose is greater than what you've survived by the skin of your teeth. Psalm 89:13 says, "You (Lord) have a mighty arm; Strong is Your hand, and high is Your right hand."

When you count your blessings and do the math; you'll realize you are exponentially blessed!

I Feel the Urge

My labor was coming to an end, with its normal twists and turns. This baby was an answer to numerous private prayers to the Lord, asking Him to somehow bless me with another child to love. After many hours of concentrated breathing efforts, I began to feel a new sensation. It was strong and with it I experienced a fresh “wind in my sails.” I felt the urge to push.

My years as a home schooling Mom are far from over as I still have several in the nest that need training. I never could have imagined when I was young that I would be taking on the role of being my children’s educator. When that idea was first presented to me (unusually by my first child), I laughed thinking surely, I am entirely too inadequate. But my children have defied that reasoning, assuring me almost daily with a 100% approval rating saying, “I am the best teacher ever!”

It all started one morning parked outside the private school I had my son enrolled in. He and I were trying to let go of the hold we had on each other when we both heard the bell ring from my parked car next to the building. That meant another trip to the office for me and another tardy slip for him. Our excuse? We didn’t want to say goodbye. We felt that same way the night before he got married.

While some have enjoyed teaching their children to read, I can think of one child in particular who I could compare it to pulling eye teeth. She refused to sit still, much less show any kind of enjoyment over “couch time.” This one would rather be climbing a tree than sit with me for a few moments of cuddle time and a book. Somehow we got through those years and she is not illiterate. Her favorite book is by far the Song of Solomon. She reads it with incredible insight and her comprehension level is over the top.

I pray for tons of stamina and creativity as I continue on my journey. My 11 year old student takes me by surprise with his long, tender hugs. That’s not something every middle school teacher can brag about. Just when I feel like giving up, he seems to know exactly what I need. When others are counting the days to get away from their students on a “break,” I can honestly say, this child helps me appreciate my role as his teacher.

God knew what He was doing when I was told in my forties that I was pregnant. He knew that this little one would keep my life full and add to it daily with interest. She is the expression of joy and has a very keen sense of observation. I know I am suppose to be watching out for her but expect that she will in fact, be watching out for me. I didn’t understand the spacing between my children for years, but as the nest begins to empty, I see God’s grace and mercy through her toward me as a mother. I was never meant to be without one to teach.

My second child has now graduated and it's time for her to fly. She leaves in a week to a place that is halfway between my heart and the Pacific Ocean. I look back on our years together as child/parent, student/teacher, mother/daughter, and I can truly say I have no regrets. Together, we have finished the race. I am excited for all that God has planned for her. That’s not to say I won’t cry when she is 1,200 miles away. But we have a true friendship that’s stood the test of time and God has rewarded me with the ability to set her free. So now, once again, I feel the urge to push. It comes after a long, but good labor of love.